The Case Of The Missing Secret!
by ShiroInu
Summary: ShiroInu is back again! This time in this hilarious fic, our host is missing a secret treasure and has called upon the Inu-tachi for help! What chaos will follow? LanguageViolence.
1. Dun dun dun

Authors Notes: Muaha. I'm back! Haha, okies, remember to review my pretties and if anyone can find a site where it shows Yuri/Shojo-Ai pictures/art/fanfiction purely..TELL ME! Ja, lovies.  
  
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ShiroInu: And what do you think Mr.Inuyasha puppet?  
  
Inuyasha-Puppet: Ooh! Yes! Sesshy pet my..-  
  
Slave girl: Um! ShiroInu?  
  
ShiroInu: -hides her puppets and grins.- Yes?  
  
Slave girl: -whisperwhisper-  
  
ShiroInu: -grin widens.- Excellent.  
  
Slave girl: Shall I have them bring it up?  
  
ShiroInu: -rubs her hands together evily.- Yes..MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Slave girl: -runs away crying.-  
  
Iro-chan: Your scaring people, again.  
  
ShiroInu: -sniffle- I'm such..- such a-..MONSTER! :(!  
  
Iro-chan: _ Moron..  
  
Slave girl: -drags in a huge crate.- Here y-you are m-miss.  
  
ShiroInu: THANK YOU!! -dives on the box and shakes her booty.-  
  
Slave girl: -runs away screaming and crying now.- U_U;  
  
Iro-chan: -sighs in irritation.-  
  
ShiroInu: At long last! I've waited 8 weeks for this!  
  
Iro-chan: -watches with curiosity.-  
  
ShiroInu: -prys it open with a crowbar and gawks at the box.- N-no..  
  
Iro-chan: -blinkblinkblink.- Its.. O.o  
  
ShiroInu: EMPTYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! -screams with fury and starts destroying her room.-  
  
Iro-chan: -dives under a desk.-   
  
ShiroInu: NO NO NO! IT WAS THE LAST STOCK! IT COSTED ME ALL OF MY MONEY! -screams wildly.- :(  
  
Iro-chan: CALM DOWN! o_O;  
  
ShiroInu: -strangles Iro-chan.- CALM DOWN?! I"LL-.. @_@  
  
Butler: Eh..Miss ShiroInu? You have a phone call. o.o;  
  
ShiroInu: -lets go of the purple Iro-chan and accepts the phone a bit grumpily.- Yes? ..-darkly.- ..WHAT?  
  
Iro-chan: -taking large gulps of air,her color turning normal.- -.-;  
  
ShiroInu: No--..I, what?! Stop-..Wait! -hangs up, growling.- Someone stole it.   
  
Iro-chan: Who was it?   
  
ShiroInu: I don't know..but the only clue they gave was, 'I've got your treasure! HAHAHAHA'  
  
Iro-chan: ._.  
  
ShiroInu: I KNOW! -lightbulb.- I'll call the Inuyasha gang!  
  
Iro-chan: Oh joy.  
  
ShiroInu: -calls up the director.- Hey? Ya, its be ShiroInu. -hears the director grovel and send compliments.- Thanks! Can I borrow the gang? Uh huh. Thanks!  
  
Iro-chan: -in awe.-  
  
ShiroInu: Yes, I am amazing. COME! WE FLY! -hands Iro-chan a vacuum cleaner.-  
  
Iro-chan: There is no-..  
  
ShiroInu: -flying off on a broom.- WEEEEE!  
  
Iro-chan: u_u Why me? -flies after her.-  
  
......To be continued; Stay tuned! 


	2. A bit of booty for all!

center Authors Notes: Muahaha, READ!

V

ShiroInu: OH! Oooh! MM!

Iro-chan: Ugh...stop it.

ShiroInu: Mmm! Oh! OH YEAH BABY!

Iro-chan: --;

ShiroInu: Mm! Gee, this is good cake! -finishes off her slice of chocolate cake while balancing the whole cake on her other hand.-

Iro-chan: Should you be eating cake while riding a broom?

ShiroInu: Sure why-..SHIT! -swerving, drops the cake.-

Iro-chan: See?!

ShiroInu: OO! NO! MY CAKE! -cries.-

Iro-chan: Will you shut up? Look, theres Kagome's house! -points.-

ShiroInu: -dives down.-

Buyo: Meww?

ShiroInu: Ooh! Kitty! -shoves Buyo in her shirt and leaps down the well.-

Iro-chan: -follows.-

Kagome: Inuyasha! SIT!

Inuyasha: -grumblegrumble.-

Kagome: -sits on his back.- If you wanted some attention you should have told me and not attempted to hurt Shippou. -rubs ears.-

Inuyasha: -purr.-

ShiroInu: Oh yeah! Spank de booty!

Kagome: EEK! -leaps off Inuyasha.-

Inuyasha: -curses and glares at ShiroInu.-

ShiroInu: HAHA U R ST00PID.

Iro-chan: -smacks her in the back of the head.- Moron. --;

ShiroInu: Ahem, I need your help.

Inuyasha: Help? Keh, why?

Kagome: Why, whats wrong?

ShiroInu: -breaks down in tears.- Someone stole my secret box of secrets!

Kagome: Eh? Whats in it?

ShiroInu: Its a secret! You must help me. -points a sword at them dramatically.-

Inuyasha: Feh, like hell-.. -is smacked in the head with a penguin.-

Iro-chan: If you don't help her shes going to drive me crazy!

Kagome: Sure, we'll help! ;;

Inuyasha: Kagomeeeee...-whine.-

ShiroInu: -GLOMP.-

Iro-chan: Stop the horror uu;

Kagome: Come on! TO THE VILLAGE! -prances.-

Inuyasha: Keh, come on-..-realizes hes the only one in the clearing and cusses beneath his breath.- Damnit.

- - - -

ShiroInu: HELLO MY LOYAL FANS. -is surrounded by villagers who are brandishing pitch forks and torches.-

Iro-chan: Not again.. -.-

Kagome: Come on! Let her go! ;;

Villager: But-but.. Kagome-san, this creature came upon our village screaming unknown words!

ShiroInu: All I said was, 'SHAKE DE BOOTY'.

Kagome: -sweatdrops and pulls ShiroInu into Kaede's hut.-

Inuyasha: Oi! Wait for me! -Leaps at the door.-

Iro-chan: -hops in and shuts the door, ignoring the loud crash and cussing as Inuyasha flies into it.-

Miroku: Ah.. ShiroInu and her muse.

Sango: What're you guys doing here? o.o

ShiroInu: -smacks Kagome's ass.- HELLO ALL.

Kagome: -looking scared and disgusted.-

Iro-chan: Did Kaede get over her hang-over?

Miroku: Yes, although it seems to have affected her terribly: every 30 minutes she screams out, "OH GOD POTATOE"

ShiroInu: Interesting..

Iro-chan: -cracking up.- XD!

Sango: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?

Kagome: o.o;;

Miroku: There there, love..

ShiroInu: GODIAMHATED. Oh yeah! I need your help! -Pose.-

Iro-chan: Somebody stole her secret box of secrets. -nods sagely.-

ShiroInu: Yes! And I need your help!

Inuyasha: -Rips open the door and punches Iro-chan.-

Iro-chan: Ow.. asshole! -kicks him in the balls.-

Inuyasha: Ohgod. -falls over.- x.x

Kagome: Oh! Inu-chan! Here, let me sit -.. NO NO!!

Inuyasha: -slams on the ground, whining.- Oh god..

ShiroInu: -points and laughs.- HA HA u R St-. -is smacked.-

Miroku: PLEASE. STOP THE HORROR.

Sango: I agree.

ShiroInu: Ok ok.. so, will you guys help?

Kagome: Sure! Right guys?

Miroku: I SHALL ALWAYS HELP THE NEEDY.

Sango: Miroku.. were you eating random herbs again?

Miroku: Huh?

Iro-chan: In other words, Miroku.. what the fuck are you smoking?

Miroku: .. Huh?

ShiroInu: ..

Inuyasha: .. I hate you.

ShiroInu: Pfft yea wh-.. OH GOD! -stomach starts stretching as something moves inside of it.- OHGOD ITS AN ALIEN!

Kagome: -eyes wide.- Oh my god! HELP!

Iro-chan: O.O;

ShiroInu: OHH UGH OHGOD. -falls over just as Buyo pokes his head out of her shirt.-

Buyo: Mew?

Iro-chan: XD!!

Sango: -passes out.-

Miroku: ..

Kagome: Buyo! KITTY! -cuddles it.-

ShiroInu: Anywho, ready to go?

Inuyasha: I hope you break your neck going down the well.

Iro-chan: -smacks his ass.-

Kagome: -suddenly snarls like a rabid dog at Iro-chan.-

ShiroInu: o.o;

Miroku: -blinkblink.-

Sango: -drools in her unconsciousness.-

Inuyasha: Aww. ;

Kagome: Anyways! -cheerful.- Lets go!

Sango: -suddenly revives and breaks out in song.- OOOOOH, WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD, THE WONDE-.. -blood gushes from a sudden wound on her leg.- AHHH! KYAHH! MY LEG.

Iro-chan: ;; He he. -stabbed her with a spork.- Soooo.

Kagome: --RFUL WIZARD OF OZ, LALALALA LALALALALA! -Hooks arms with Inuyasha and skips toward the well.-

Miroku: -faints.-

ShiroInu: -drags Miroku after Kagome and Inuyasha.-

Iro-chan: -grabsSango by the hair and drags her, too.-

Sango: AHHHHH AH AH -gasp- AHHHHHH. /center 


	3. Chaos with Samara

Authors Notes: SQUEEEEEE...  
  
V  
  
-In the darkness of the well, traveling through time.-  
  
"MUAHAHA PH334 M3 M04- Ahem.. FEAR ME MORTALS."  
  
Inuyasha: Who the hell was t-..  
  
ShiroInu: OH NO ITS SATAN.  
  
"Actually I'-.."  
  
Sango: KYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY LEG, OH GOD ITS GUSHING TORRENTS OF BLOOD! -screaming like a banshee.-  
  
Iro-chan: Stfu! . -stabs her other leg.-  
  
Miroku: -tackles Iro-chan.- BIATCH!  
  
Iro-chan: Oh, hahaha! Ow-shit..  
  
Sango: KYAHHHHHh-..  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha, get your hand off my ass! -slap.-  
  
Inuyasha: Ow! What the fuck? I'm not touching your ass!  
  
Kagome: -fumes.- ShiroInu, get your hand off my ass!  
  
ShiroInu: Its not me! o.o;  
  
Kagome: Miro-.. -watches Miroku and Iro-chan in a fist fight.- Um..  
  
Inuyasha: Whoever has their hand on my Kag's ass, I'm going to kill you!  
  
Samara: -From The Ring.- Aww.. okay. -removes hand.-  
  
Kagome: OO HOLY SHIT.  
  
ShiroInu: OO! -screams and crawls in Inuyasha's pants.-  
  
Iro-chan: -sitting on top of Miroku's unconcious body.- Were you the one talking a minute ago?  
  
Samara: Yes. FEAR ME MORTALS.  
  
Inuyasha: Keh! Fear you? I'll kick your ass!  
  
Samara: -hands him a video tape and magically makes a VCR appear.- Come! We watch.  
  
ShiroInu: NO NEVAR.. Oooh, movie! -passes out popcorn from within Inuyasha's pants.-  
  
Sango: KYAHHH-.. -munches on popcorn.- ..-HHHHHH.  
  
Kagome: Um.. I don't think this is such a good idea..  
  
Iro-chan: -poking Miroku with stick.-  
  
Inuyasha: Oi, whats a movie?  
  
Samara: -hair in her face.-  
  
ShiroInu: -watches the video tape.- o.o;  
  
Miroku: Mm.. oh baby... -unconcious.-  
  
Inuyasha: Wtf is this shit? oO;  
  
Iro-chan: . Ttttvvvv...  
  
Kagome: -shudders, clinging to Inuyasha.- Omg omg omg..  
  
Samara: Squeee.  
  
Sango: -passed out from blood loss.- x.x  
  
ShiroInu: -cell phone rings.-  
  
Everyone: -quiet.- O.O;  
  
ShiroInu: -slowly answers it.- Hello..?  
  
Phone: HIYA, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME PIE.  
  
Everyone: -sigh of relief.-  
  
ShiroInu: Um.. sure? What flavours?  
  
Phone: ...... 7 days.  
  
Everyone: -starts screaming.-  
  
Inuyasha: W-what? Wtf? Wha-.. -smacked with a fish.- x.x  
  
Samara: -gigglesnort-  
  
ShiroInu: OH GOD OH GOD.  
  
Kagome: I don't want to die! I haven't even gotten oral sex yet! Wahhhh-.. -screams.-  
  
Miroku: -gropes Samara.-  
  
Samara: -pimp smacks Miroku and stabs him.-  
  
Miroku: x.x -dies-  
  
Kagome: Oh my god! MIROKU!  
  
Samara: WHEEE PANCAKES. -disapears.-  
  
Inuyasha: Fuck no-.. Hey! Come back here!  
  
-Finally, whats left of the gang, they reach the other side and Kagome's modern time.-  
  
Iro-chan: Um, well.. Miroku is dead.. Sango is dead.. and we only have 7 days to live. .  
  
ShiroInu: -DRAMATIC SIGH.- Oh the ANGST.  
  
Kagome: -cries.- . Damnit, I broke a nail!  
  
Inuyasha: Keh! I'll find that bitch and kick her ass.  
  
ShiroInu: You can't, shes dead.  
  
Kagome: -sniffle.- Well, so was Kikyou and you kicked her ass.  
  
Iro-chan: True.. XD  
  
Inuyasha: Keh. .  
  
ShiroInu: Indeed.. MUAHAHAHA.  
  
Iro-chan: Well.. what now?  
  
ShiroInu: We must find my treasure! BIATCH.  
  
Kagome: Do you think we can? In 7 days?  
  
Iro-chan: We'll die trying. XD -gropage.-  
  
Kagome: -slap.- INUYASHA IS MY PIMP.  
  
-Somewhere outside the well, "POTATOE" -  
  
Inuyasha: What the-.. That sounds like Kaede!  
  
Everyone: -climbs out of the well and out of the well house to find Kaede stumbling around.-  
  
Kaede: Hello ye children.. OHGOD OH GOD MY HIP. -falls down a flight of stairs that magically appeared.-  
  
ShiroInu: HAHA. Stupid old folks.  
  
KagomE: OH MY GOD. -rushes to help.-  
  
Inuyasha: o.o;  
  
Iro-chan: XD Hip.  
  
To be continued. 


	4. Potatoes and pie!

**Author's Notes**: YES. I am stalling the update of SOS, but that's because I am a very busy and very lazy author -hangs head-

**V**

-The gang resorted to carrying Kaede, who murmured of root vegetables, inside Kagome's house.-

Inuyasha: o.o; Um.. Kagome..

Kagome: Not now! Can't you see I'm helping old feeble women?!!! -thrusts her hips forward.-

ShiroInu: -snickers.- . 

Iro-chan: -staring oddly at Kagome.-

Kagome: WHAT? -bending over Kaede, who rests on the couch, her skirt falling over her bulging ass.-

Inuyasha: Um.. theres something orange sticking out of your-

ShiroInu: WTF IS IN YOUR PANTIES?! -points wildly.-

Iro-chan: It-..It moved!

KagomE: -pauses before she begins shrieking madly.- OH GOD! I THOUGHT I HAD JUST FORGOT TO SHAVE FOR 3 YEARS. -begins bucking her hips as the bulge twitches and orange fur pokes out.-

Inuyasha: x.x

Iro-chan: Dear god.. -horror stricken.-

ShiroInu: -tackles Kagome and pulls out the orange bundle.-

Shippou: OH DEAR KAMI-SAMA. -takes deep gulps of air, his eyes wide and his face a look of sheer terror.-

Inuyasha: SHIPPOU. YOU BASTARD WHA-

Kagome: Hi Shippou! . -rubs at her ass.-

Shippou: It-it.. was terrible! I couldn't BREATH! -begins sobbing and runs to the nearest corner.-

ShiroInu: The poor, poor child. x.o

Iro-chan: You all are mad. Mad, I tell you, MAD!!!1 -bangs head on wall.-

Kagome: -hums cheerfully as she dances around the couch.- WHEEEEEE!

Inuyasha: What the hell is wrong with you Kagome? o.o;;; -looking scared.-

Kagome: TAKE ME NOW, DOG. -tackles him and drags him up the stairs with her teeth.-

Inuyasha: -whimpers.- oo;

ShiroInu: Well.. that was unexpected. u.u;

Kaede: -rolls off the couch and onto the coffee table, breaking it although she remains asleep.- n.n

Higurashi-ma: TEA ANYONEL???? ./?/?? -appears in Iro-chan's lap, holding a packet of tea.-

ShiroInu: o.o; Um.. no?

Iro-chan: Where the hell did you come from?! -tries to shove her off.-

Higurashi-ma: EAT IT, YOU LIKE TEA YES YOU DO. -shoves the packet in Iro-chan's mouth, shrieking with glee.-

ShiroInu: -edges away into the kitchen.- . 

Iro-chan: -watches ShiroInu retreat with wide eyes and begins screaming, the sound muffled by Higurashi-ma's hand.-

Higurashi-ma: HEHE TEA GOOD. -tries to shove her hand down Iro-chan's throat.-

ShiroInu: -wanders into the kitchen to see Souta humping an apple pie.- O.O;;;; OH DEAR GOD NO.

Souta: -looks up quickly, mouth agape.- Uh-uh-uh.. I-I can explain! I-I was cutting a piece for Kagome!! -drops the pie in shock.-

ShiroInu: -falls to her knees screaming, clutching at her eyes.- MY EYES! MY EYES ARE BLEEDING! MY EYES! X.X

Souta: -scrambles out of the kitchen, nearly tripping over the pie and flees out the backdoor, forgetting his pants on the floor.-

ShiroInu: -drags herself along the floor, before finding a discarded tissue. She uses it to wipe the blood from her eyes before she freezes.- Wha-.. OMG IT'S BEEN USED. -scrambles out of the kitchen, clutching her mouth as she storms up the stairs to the bathroom.-

Iro-chan: -hacking up pieces of tea bag on the floor while Higurashi-ma leaps out the window happily.- .;

Shippou: -crawls over to Iro-chan, whispering something like 'my virgin eyes'.- I'm hungry, Where's the food?

Iro-chan: Er, come on.. let's go to the kitchen. -rises to her feet, glancing outside to see Higurashi-ma frolicking in the flowers outside.-

Shippou: -follows her to the kitchen, and gasps as he sees blood, tissues, pants and pie.-

Iro-chan: Um.. I don't want to know.. HEY LOOK! Pie. There you go kid, eat up. -walks off toward the stairs, leaving Shippou alone in the kitchen.-

-

-The sounds of heavy vomiting finally ends as the bathroom door opens, though it is quickly replaced by the sound of a squeaking matress.-

ShiroInu: Hm! I wonder what they're doing. -smirks, slowly approaching the door.-

-The soud of squeaking gets louder and muffled talking is heard.-

ShiroInu: -cautiously opens the door, and gasps aloud as her eyes set upon the scene before her.-

Kagome: o.o; -Is tied to the bed with rope with her clothes on while leprachauns jump gleefully around her on the pretty pink bed.-

Inuyasha: x.x -is unconcious on top of her desk.-

ShiroInu: What the hell?! What's going on here? We're supposed to be hunting Samara AND my treasure and you're having a.. um, fivesome with LEPRACHAUNS! o.O;;

Lead Leprachaun: Ho' there lassie! We're here to help ye. -rubs a squirrel on her ankle.-

ShiroInu: Eh.. okay.. o.o;;

Lead Leprachaun: Ye see, we know the lad who stole ye treasure. He was once a trusted ally, but alas, he slept with me wife and now I wish to castrate the bastard. -smells the squirrel sadly.-

ShiroInu: Who is he?? Tell me now! -points at him, only to find a bit of pie crust on her finger.- EW GROSS! -rubs her finger on a random leprachaun who humps her leg.- . ;;;

Lead Leprachaun: I cannot say, lassie, for I am held by me word of honor. But I can lead ye to the scoundrel. -removes the humping leprachaun and throws him on the whining Kagome.-

ShiroInu: Good enough for me! -grabs him and takes him in the closet for a passionate midget make out session.-

Lead Leprachaun: AHOY! -goes willingly.-

Inuyasha: -stirs on the floor, groaning.-

Iro-chan: What the hell.. -stares from the door way before she finally shrugs and kicks Inuyasha in the head.- Oi! Wake up!

Inuyasha: -jumps up, growling heatedly as he glares at Iro-chan blearily.- Bitch, I'm going to-

Iro-chan: Your mate is being molested by Leprachauns. -says this calmly.-

Inuyasha: WTF? -whirls around to see Kagome being humped wildly by confused and dim-witted leprachauns.- OI! GET OFFA HER YOU BASTARDS! -slices the ropes holding her and removes the sock from her mouth.-

Kagome: Oh thank god! I was beginning to think I'd have buttsecks with small green men! -clutches to Inuyasha.-

Iro-chan: Whew. -wipes the sweat off her brow before doing a jig.- .;

-Moaning and shouts of 'Oh lassie!' is heard from the closet.-

Kagome: Um.. what is going on in my closet? o.o;

Inuyasha: -battles the Leprachauns who just.. won't.. die!- x.x Gah! Die bastards!

Leprachauns: Teehee! -evade his attacks and eat his ear wax.-

Iro-chan: ShiroInu and the leprachaun dude are getting it on.

Kagome: OMGWTFBBQ MY CLOTHES ARE IN THERE!

Iro-chan: -chuckles madly.- XD

Kagome: -bangs on her closet.- Come outta there, jerks!

-The two emerge, ShiroInu looked sheepish while the Lead Leprachaun blinked, looking woozy.-

Kagome: Now you t-.. OH MY GOSH! WHAT IS THAT- -.. THING! -points at the leprachaun's crotch, her eyes watering from staring.- O.O;;;

Lead Leprachaun: Eh, haven't you ever seen a-

-A shout of 'POTATOE' from downstairs startles everyone.-

ShiroInu: Sounds like Kaede is awake.. o.o

Inuyasha: -is rolled under the bed, tied up and bound by giggling green men.- Mphhhhfff! Mmmff! x.o

Kagome: -skips outside her room.-

Iro-chan: -tugs ShiroInu from the room and follows.-

Lead Leprachaun: Wait fer me, lassies! -runs after them, trying to pull up his trousers.-

Inuyasha: -whines from beneath the bed.- x.x;;

**-**

Shippou: I dun feel so good.. -begins vomiting up pie on the floor.-

Kaede: Eh, Shippou.. what be the matter boy? -looks around, confused.-

Kagome: Ewww, Shippou what did you eat?!

Shippou: P-pie..

ShiroInu: -begins to gag and slaps a hand to her mouth while fleeing up the stairs once more.-

Iro-chan: o.o;; Um..

Kaede: Hello there Kagome.

Lead Leprachaun: She is a BEAUTY! -tackles Kaede and the two begin making out heavily on the couch.-

Iro-chan: WTF. o.o;; -turns away from the scene.-

Kagome: EW, OLD FOLK NOOKIE. -runs up the stairs, vomiting.-

Shippou: xx Ugh. -passes out.-

_To be continued!_


	5. Poontang and Shippou's chance!

**Authors Notes**: While reading the last chapter, I must of chuckled for hours. -chuckles.- READ BIOTCH.

**V**

ShiroInu-looking pale and a bit sickly, she leaves the bathroom only to be shoved to the floor by Kagome, who spews vomit.- X.x WHAT THE HELL.

Kagome-spews all over the bathroom floor before slumping over the toilet.- .;

ShiroInu-covers her mouth and drags herself toward the stairs.- YOU SICK LITTLE APPLE!

Inuyasha: Mppphhh! Mhppgg-wiggles out into the hallway, struggling to flee from the leprachauns who squeal madly.- Mmmmphhh!

ShiroInu: I don't want to live anymore! KYAHH-throws herself down the stairs but doesn't get far becase she slams into the dead body of Kaede.- O.O;; WTF!

Lead Leprachaun: L-lassie.. -lays in a pool of his own applesauce.-

ShiroInu: NOOOO! LEPRACHAUN-attempts to run to his side but merely trips over Kaede again.- Ouch. x.o

Iro-chan-pokes her head out from a closet.- No! ShiroInu! Hide! Hide now before it's -dodges a flying cabbage and slams the closet door.-

ShiroInu: W-what's going on! IM SO CONFUZZLED!121

Lead Leprachaun-wriggles in the applesauce.- The young laddie! He's gone mad! OHNO-is whacked repeatedly with cabbage.-

ShiroInu: Shippou! WHY . 

Shippou: Are you insane? LOOK AT ME-hops around naked, clutching a cabbage.- First I get stuck in Kagome's PANTIES for SEVEN HOURS, do you know what it's like in there! Hot, gooey and it smells like the ocean!

ShiroInu: Yes, I do.. . 

Shippou: Eh.. ANYWAYS! THEN I EAT PIE! That pie tasted WRONG.. so.. wrong! Now look at me! Killing people with CABBAGE! RAWR! .

ShiroInu: It's okay Shippou! I do it every Friday-inches toward him.-

Shippou: BARK BARK-leaps out the window.-

ShiroInu: o.o;;;;;

Lead Leprachaun: Lassie! God be here to take my soul-is surrounded in shimmering light, lifting toward the ceiling.-

ShiroInu: oooh.. sparkles-tries to grab them.- Fwee!

Lead Leprachaun-is lifted higher and slams into the chandilier.- Wha!213 -is slammed repeatedly into the chandilier until he is dropped.- B-but.. Why God!

God: I haven't had my coffee yet! RAWRRAWRARWW! Go away!

Lead Leprachaun-ish healed and thrown at ShiroInu.-

ShiroInu: . -begins to madly make out with the Leprachaun dude.-

Lead Leprachaun: AHOY!

Iro-chan-peeks out from the closet then slowly slips out, covered in purring kittens.- I wuv kitties!111-cuddles them on the floor.- .

Shippou-beats Higurashi-san to death with a cabbage as she frolicks in the flowers.- RAWWWWWR .

Inuyasha: Mppphhhhmmm! THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMPPITY THUMP. -rolls down teh stairs.- x.x

Kagome: I'm hungry-trips over Kaede and slams into Inuyasha who moans in pain.-

Samara-suddenly appears, munching on a bagel.- Sheesh, I leave you for 2 days and already you're causing havoc.

KagomE-scrambles to her feet and begins screaming.- O.O;;;

Inuyasha-wriggle..twitch..whine.-

ShiroInu: YOU-points a banana dramatically at Samara before peeling it slowly.-

Samara: o.O ME!

ShiroInu-whips out the soft banana and throws it at her.-

Samara: BAH-disapears in an explosion of pecans.- TEEHEEEEE.

ShiroInu: CURSES!2122

Iro-chan: Fweee.. kitties-rolls around, cuddling them further.- .;;;

ShiroInu: KYAH-yelps in pain, a tiny kitten clutching her left boob.-

Kitty: Mew? MEW? MEOWwww.. MEOW.

ShiroInu-whimpers, peeling the kitten off.-

Kitty: Miaow. -clings.-

ShiroInu: Oh god. OH GOD. OHGODOHGOD. -rips the kitten off.-

Kitty-purrs.- .

ShiroInu-passes out.- x.x

Iro-chan-blinks before wandering over to Inuyasha, untying him.-

Inuyasha-leaps up, pounding Iro-chan in the skull repeatedly.- YOU FUCKING BI-

Kagome: RANDOM ORGASM-goes into a seizure on the floor.-

Iro-chan: Ow. x.o Wtf!

Inuyasha: o.o;

Kagome: OHYESOHYES! BABYBABYBABY! AHHH-twitchspasm.-

Inuyasha: Eh? Kagome-chan-pokes her in the boob.-

Kagome: KYAH! TAKE ME NOW, DOG-grabs him by the hair and pins him to the floor, ripping his shirt off with a giant ROAR.-

Inuyasha: O.O K-kagome-manlynipplesharden.-

Kagome-ravishes him.-

ShiroInu-groggily wakes up, only to see Kagome and Inuyasha getting it on next to her limp body.- WHAT THE FUCK? Can't you two keep it in your pants for 5 FUCKING MINUTES? AH!

Iro-chan: Calm down.. o.o;;;

ShiroInu: Piss off, cat raper! ROAR.

Iro-chan: .. The hell? o.O

ShiroInu-grabs Kagome by the hair and throws her in a plastic kennel.-

Inuyasha: HEY!

Kagome-whimper, moan of wantingness.- No!

ShiroInu: Shut it, ho'! I AM YOUR PIMP. Iro-chan! MUZZLE HIM-flicks her magically appearing pink wand at Inuyasha.-

Iro-chan: Yessir! XD -tackles Inuyasha.-

Inuyasha: GAH- Hey don't touch m-.. BITCH! YO- STOP THAT-struggles.-

Iro-chan-gropes n' muzzles.-

Inuyasha-muffled cussing.- Dmm ouy illkshhou!

Iro-chan: Ooh, such a naughty mouth! Want a pickle? HUH? WANT A PICKLE BITCH?

Inuyasha-blinkblinkblink.-

Iro-chan: PICKLE-waves it at his face.- LIKE THE ONES ON CHEAP CABLE PORNO. WANT SOME? HUH? WANT MY PICKLE?

Kagome: I want it-does a jig in her kennel.-

ShiroInu: What in TEH NAME OF _POONTANG_ IS HAPPENING? Suddenly, Kagome has turned into a wanting, sexual preteen who may never finish scho-

Shippou-calmly munching on a carrot.- She has always been that way.

ShiroInu: SHIPPOU! O.O Are you.. okay?

Shippou: I..am. -averts his gaze.-

ShiroInu: What.. happened, dear boy?

- The setting changes to a retro talk show, with pastel coloured walls and a sappy looking audience.-

Shippou-eyes light up, getting shiny.- As I continued to beat Higurashi-san into a bloody, squishy pulp in the lawn, amidst the blooming weeds.. I ran into Souta..

ShiroInu-grows pale.-

Shippou: I dropped the bloodied cabbage.. and he dropped his pants and the next thing I knew we were making plans for children and marriage and-..

ShiroInu-begins making odd noises in the back of her throat.-

Shippou: After we made hot, sensual and smooshy yaoi buttsecks.. I layed back to relax and for some strange reason, I began to smell pie..

ShiroInu-makes gurgling sounds and begins to retch on the floor.- O-o-oh god.. w-will it never end?

Shippou-ignores her and continues to sigh dreamily.- He's so SMEXY! n.n

ShiroInu-continues retching on the floor.- u.u

Kagome-jingles the metal cage door.- HEY! HEY! YOu'RE STAINING MY CARPET! STOP THAT! Bad dog! _Bad dog!_

ShiroInu-eyes flare red.- If you don't shut the fuck up I'm going to eat your babies.

Kagome-meeps and scoots further into the cage.- 'Kay..

Inuyasha-growls in warning at ShiroInu.-

Iro-chan-does a jig on the rotting body of Kaede.-

Lead Leprachaun: Has anyone seen me dentures.. AHOY! That's a MIGHTY BIG pile of vomit ya got there-chuckles and rubs his belly.-

ShiroInu: Shut up and take me to the asshole that stole my treasure BIOTCH!

Lead Leprachaun: Aye, come! To the magical portal of DOOM.. and puppies!

Inuyasha-grumbling darkly, picks up Kagome's pet carrier and stumbles into the kitty shaped portal.-

Shippou-returns with Souta in hand, blushing while walking inside the portal.-

ShiroInu-exchanges pale glances with Souta before she averts her gaze and motions for everyone to hurry the hell up.-

Iro-chan-carrying a bag of mewing kittens, trots into the portal.-

Lead Leprachaun-leads ShiroInu in by her boob.- AHOY!

ShiroInu-presses a, oddly, kitty shaped button the portal blinks out of sight.-

_To be continued!_


End file.
